that's the way

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ljCuss - 100 Entry Version

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Created by g0thm0g!


BTW, I don't ever remember saying anything about anal or anus or what ever. But I guess I just did.
Bedroom eyes

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Lilypie Baby Ticker
Okay, let's see if I can get this bitch to work today.
No matter what things happen to me, no matter how great they seem, I can't help but still be a little disappointed.
I am trying to look at all of the things that have been happening to be as blessings. Like the pregnancy thing. I always planned to have a baby, so it was going to happen eventualy. My friend Ashley has been trying to get pregnant and can't, she would kill to be in my shoes.
This just isn't HOW I thought it would happen. You know, I thought I would be married first. At least Justin did ask me to marry him before he knocked me up, other wise I would be wondering if that was the only reason why. I thought I would have my own place, instead of living in the spare room in his sister's basment.
And, it's not that I have a bad job, I just don't have my dream job. And I'm not talking about my dream dream job (actress), I'm talking about my realistic dream job (teacher). I was going to start back to school this January, but now it is going to be SO hard.
To make matters worse, I keep seeing all of these people I went ot highschool with, doing great. And, I know I'm being a whiney bitch, I am jealous. I wish my life had turned out a little more like I had planned.
But I need to quit. The last thing I want is my baby thinking it was a mistake or an accident. I won't go into the details, but it was no accident. Justin just managed to talk me into it. I will do my best to make my baby's life amazing. If I have to make sacrifices I will. I'll be loving and giving. And I will try not to be bitter about the morning sickness and labor pains she causes me.
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Bedroom eyes

I want tea.

I'm pissy. My car broke down again, my stepdad is going to try to fix it today. I have an appointment tomorrow, and if it isn't fixed I am screwed. Justin hasn't called yet. Everything sucks. I have no car, so I have no way of going to get anything for lunch. Now that the morning sickness thing is wearing off, I think I could actually eat. This bithc outbid me on ebay for some carebears stuff I REALLY wanted to do the nursery in. I am going to put some of my clothes up for sell late this week or early next week. BLAH I feel shitty
  • Current Mood
    crappy crappy
Bedroom eyes

Comics

kawaii_not
Funny Funny Funny
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Go check it out, there are more on the journal. Cute, funny. And there's other stuff, icons and wallpaper. I've got the cell phone wallpaper now, but I'm thinking of switching to the donut hole.
Bedroom eyes

How it Happened.

He has asked me to marry him like 2 times before, and I just blew it off as him joking around. We went to see his sister Sabrina on Friday and on the way back to his mom's we're just talking, random stuff you know. "Can we go watch a movie tomorrow?" "That's too expensive." "No, I budgeted in to go watch one." "Why don't you go by yourself, it's cheeper that way." "I don't care if it's cheeper I want to go with you."

So then I went into my speech about how much I love movies, and if I could, I would go watch a movie everyday. (too long working at a movie theater I guess) When I was in the middle of a sentence he just says "Will you marry me?" I finished what I was saying before it sank it. I looked at him and asked "what did you just say?"

I thought it was a joke, and he just kept telling me no, it wasn't. I still find it a little hard to believe. But when he told his mom that night I started to think maybe he was serious. I couldn't help it. It just seems too good to be true. I think it always will.

I've never loved anyone in my life as much as I love Justin. No one has ever made me feel as beautiful and smart and funny and worth it as he does. Every other guy I've ever been with has only seemed half there, you know? Justin just cares so much. And if he doesn't, then he sure does act like he does. And trust me, I've tried to fake it with other guys, and I didn't do as good a job as him, and I was a theater major before I dropped out.

Everytime I hear him say it, my heart skips a beat. When he whispered in my ear that he loved me and I was going to be his wife I almost passed out. It's like some wierd, girly, unfeminist dream come true!

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