Okay, let's see if I can get this bitch to work today.
No matter what things happen to me, no matter how great they seem, I can't help but still be a little disappointed.
I am trying to look at all of the things that have been happening to be as blessings. Like the pregnancy thing. I always planned to have a baby, so it was going to happen eventualy. My friend Ashley has been trying to get pregnant and can't, she would kill to be in my shoes.
This just isn't HOW I thought it would happen. You know, I thought I would be married first. At least Justin did ask me to marry him before he knocked me up, other wise I would be wondering if that was the only reason why. I thought I would have my own place, instead of living in the spare room in his sister's basment.
And, it's not that I have a bad job, I just don't have my dream job. And I'm not talking about my dream dream job (actress), I'm talking about my realistic dream job (teacher). I was going to start back to school this January, but now it is going to be SO hard.
To make matters worse, I keep seeing all of these people I went ot highschool with, doing great. And, I know I'm being a whiney bitch, I am jealous. I wish my life had turned out a little more like I had planned.
But I need to quit. The last thing I want is my baby thinking it was a mistake or an accident. I won't go into the details, but it was no accident. Justin just managed to talk me into it. I will do my best to make my baby's life amazing. If I have to make sacrifices I will. I'll be loving and giving. And I will try not to be bitter about the morning sickness and labor pains she causes me.( Collapse )